What is it with Christians and their hate for Harry Potter, anyway? It's like they've got nothing better to do.

I picked up the paper today and saw a small article with "Christians Blast J.K Rowling". And I went, gah, not again. Apparently, now they're going after the gay comment about Dumbledore. It was only recently that Rowling herself announced that the professor was homosexual, and that he was once in love with a would-be dark wizard. When I read about it, I thought, okay, well that explains why he doesn't have a wife. I mean, all the while I had the impression that he was either dysfunctional or too passionate about his job to bother.

But did the Christian community leave it at that? No, they couldn't! It was against the very laws of their oh-so-great religion. Why, is it so difficult for them to accept that different people can have different sexual orientations? There is nothing new about homosexuality. Since the dawn of mankind, there has been someone who preferred something more familiar. Ever since hierarchy was established, people have discriminated against those who were different. And to them, different sexual habits was a grave difference. Since most law actually stems from what most would like to believe to be Christian influences, people were quick to condemn anything that seems to go against G_d's wishes. I refuse to use that word in this post, for the people who follow him are hopelessly blinded at this point of time.

And so, what did they do about it? Even since Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone(Not Sorcerer's stone. They only changed it because illiterate people couldn't read "Philosopher's") was released, hardcore religious fanatics began an outcry that has lasted till today. A good eight years or so. At that time, they related witchcraft to devil worship, even though the word "Devil" is not used in any context of hell in the entire series. Apparently, those who enjoyed reading Harry Potter books were all sinners and would go to hell, for wanting to perform Pagan practices.

Now, you'd think that they'd realise that real witchcraft was a lot more than waving a stick around and saying a few funny words. Actual witchcraft from the Victorian times was actually a lot more benign than most people would think. Witches were not evil, rather, they were like a kind of olden scientist. Though, they went looking for connections which are actually, not scientific. But my point is, they were just misunderstood people who were thought the inflict harm and destruction on others.

Come to that, if Harry Potter's version of witchcraft and wizardry is so much different from it's actual Pagan roots, then why don't Pagans start jumping up and screaming "Blasphemy!", like the Catholics did when The Da Vinci Code was released? I'll tell you why. It's exactly the same reason the phrase "Holier than Thou" was created. Christians have this jumped-up sense of superiority, that their religion is the only correct one, and that it is flawless, despite the many contradictions and mistakes in their guidebook. I mean, bible.

Now, here's a quote from today's article, so I can emphasise my point.

"It's not a good example for our children, who really like the books and the movies. I think it encourages homosexuality."

-Roberta Combs, president of the Christian Coalition of America

This is, of course, in relation to the thing with Dumbledore being gay. Now, I'm going to pick this quote apart. I find, that adults these days, worry too much about children being easily influenced. While I don't blame them(because we have a fair share of idiots in our generation), I think that the whole anti-gay thing is unnecessary. For one, most people who read books and care about them, are not idiots. This means, that they are unlikely to care whether one of the main characters was gay or not. Secondly, a gay character does not encourage homosexuality. A gay character gives people greater insights into their rather different lifestyle, which only serves to give knowledge and instill learning. If you can accept that Dumbledore is gay, then you can benefit from that information. Again, I say. Gay characters do no encourage gayness. People are gay regardless of the fiction they read.

And here's another quote.

"Harry Potter, an orphaned witch, is one hero who has captured the innocent heart of many children. When such a hero uses evil as a problem-solving tool, we need to be warned. Over time, the child can become adapted to the dark world of witchcraft and not know that it's dangerous."

-Jack M. Roper, TV evangelist of the Christian Broadcasting Network

First of all, Harry Potter is a wizard. How many witches do you know that get married to other witches, and are able to procreate? Secondly, witchcraft is not evil. I do not know where people get these ideas from. As I have explained earlier, people feared witches only because they were different, and some say, superior. Furthermore, a child cannot adapt to a dark world, when there is no dark world. The darkest characters you can find in the series... are of course the death eaters, but seriously, which popular movie/book series doesn't have villains? Hell, even Heroes has Sylar. Lost has The Others.

Christians are just completely missing the point. It's like Star Wars. There's the Light side, and there's the Dark side. In case it wasn't clear enough, Harry is on the Light side, and he's fighting Darth Voldemort.

"...can become adapted to the dark world of witchcraft and not know that it's dangerous."

Let me ask all of you. See what you think. How can something that doesn't exist be dangerous? Does that make any sense to you at all? I suppose the Bogeyman is dangerous, even though he doesn't exist. People, things that don't exist can't be dangerous, because they don't exist. There are absolutely no accounts of people being able to wave a stick around and levitate objects. Unless you count illusionists, who, as the name implies, trick you for the sake of it. You cannot shoot flames from a wand, or transform into a llama, just because it can happen in a book.

There are people all over the world who have petitioned for the series to be banned. And all these people make claims and draw conclusions which just spit in the face of logic. Harry Potter encourages witchcraft. Harry Potter is evil. Reading Harry Potter will make you evil. And there's more now. Reading Harry Potter will make you gay.

Why can't people just accept that fiction is fiction, and that not everyone is as weak-minded and gullible as this situation implies?

And in case someone who so very whole-heartedly supports the anti HP move, here's a definition of fiction for you:

something feigned, invented, or imagined; a made-up story: We've all heard the fiction of her being in delicate health.

Key words: Feigned, Invented, Imagined, Made-up.

It is not real, people. It's more retarded to bash Harry Potter than to organise a mission to stop Hitler.

What's next, Harry Potter encourages lesbian relationships? I mean, what do you think Lavender and Parvati are always doing together? I can almost see someone writing in to the papers about that one day. People just never give up.

Sigh.

-Joe

Alright. I figure that I should probably stop yammering on about the epileptic colour box. I named mine Seizurey.

...Okay I didn't. I haven't reached that level of insanity yet.

It's funny, how time seems to pass so fast when you're doing exam papers. On a normal school day, I would be lounging in my seat for what seems like eternity. When we're doing papers, four 'O Clock doesn't seem late at all. Doesn't stop me from getting tired, though.

Anyway... as luck would have it... Today's composition topic was Heroes. Now, isn't that just great? Actually not so much. I only picked it because all the other topics were very, not fun. I had to choose between lying, menial work, social studies, and a narrative. Which I have not done for over a year, and therefore suck at now.

No actually I probably haven't done a narrative in that long because I got a 22/30 for the last one I did. Not up to my standard at all. So I was disheartened, and I found that discursive essays were way easier. I also did not know that it was spelled "discursive" instead of "discussive". Great time to learn that, right after the English O' Level.

My shirt smells like that smell I always get after I shave, for some reason. I haven't shaved in a while, so it's odd.


It's time for me to present my new theory about the universe. Before I actually get into it, I need to explain the concept of the universe to those who are unfamiliar.

First thing you need to know, is that the universe is where the three dimensions exist. That creates space. The fourth dimension, also flows within our universe: Time. We cannot interact with the fourth dimension like we would with things in the third dimension, because we are third dimensional in nature.

Another principle you need to understand is that dimensions do not exist on the outside of the universe. The outside of the universe is dimension free. There is no space nor time, nor flying llamas that shoot flames out of their eyeballs.

Now, here's the theory. If space is the absence of matter, then matter is the absence of space. And if the third dimension doesn't exist on the outside of the universe, then there is no space. And if there's no space... there has to be matter! This theory says that outside of the universe is made up of infinitely dense matter. So if you were to travel to the edge of the universe, and stuck your head outside, it would be crushed by the inexorable amount of mass that exists for the sole purpose of having no space. In other words, you would die.

Now of course, I don't really believe this, but I just thought that it was interesting enough to share. I'm pretty sure that my theory doesn't comply with the laws of physics, so if anyone is knowledgeable enough on this matter reads this, do share your views.

Oh wait, it's still a hypothesis. I have no evidence. Twisting of logic is not evidence. It's exactly like saying that a circle is a regular polygon with infinite sides, as well as no sides. Meaning that infinity is really zero.



Who needs Hiro Nakamura when your oven can stop time?

-Joe

Do you know what kind of an effect the Rubik's Cube had on the authors? Refer to yesterday's post.

But man, that little box is the most entertaining toy I've come across so far. I bought a cube on Saturday, and I've been fiddling with it ever since. It's draw is simply inexplicable. Is it the colours, or is it the sheer satisfaction of solving what most would consider to be an incarnation of the devil? I think it's the colours.

So anyway, last night I tried maybe fifty times to get the cube solved. I kept missing a turn somewhere and the whole thing just died. Kept having to go back to square one(no pun intended). But after the second hour or so, I began to get it right, and because I had repeated the same steps over and over and over and over and over and over and over... again, it was already ingrained into my muscle memory. I suddenly knew all the turns, and I could solve it without reference.

This morning, I tried again, this time, with a timer. Eight minutes. Nowhere near to those amazing people who take part in competitions, but not bad for someone who's only had it for less than 24 hours. Just half an hour ago, I tried it a few more times. I got my timing down to four minutes. I was ecstatic. I am so very addicted to that box. I've always wanted to try one, but I don't think I'd have ever bothered if Jeremy hadn't showed it to me. So, thanks mate.

Other than the amazing fun that I have when playing with that thing, I think it actually builds up the strength in my fingers. I'm typing faster now, probably because my finger muscles are still stuck in "push the square around" mode. Can you see the implications of this? Faster and more accurate typing, swifter writing... All important skills, especially in this time of examination. Even playing first-person-shooters don't give your fingers as much exercise as this.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

To put it mildly, I am happy right now. Something which comes quite rarely. I mean, normally, I feel... neutral. Static. Now, I am happy. The sense of accomplishment and success beats everything else. The same feeling I get when I complete a difficult video game, or get back a kick-ass grade.

So, if you want to give it a try, you can tell me. I may be making a trip down to wherever and I could buy one on the way for you.



Puzzles. What joy.

-Joe

Ugh. I went totally insomniac last night. I tried to go to bed at eleven, and I was still wide awake at three. Right then, I couldn't stand it anymore. I just had to go do something. Plus, I was hungry. How fortunate that I bought a box of those Oreo Wafer Stick things that afternoon. I got up, put on my glasses, and stumbled over to the computer. What, did you think I was going to read a book? I've read every book in my house about 30 times each, on average. I know, can't hurt to bump the number up a bit, but I had something in mind anyway. I wanted to watch the next episode of Heroes.

So I did.

I still wasn't feeling tired after that, so I continued surfing, until I came across a nifty little site where old TV programs are uploaded. Like Friends. So I watched a couple.

4.30a.m.

Okay, my eyes were starting to ache a little. So I decided to go back to bed. And what do you know, I still couldn't sleep. Okay, nuts. What, in the hells was going on? But I figured that if I got back up to do something, I would get even less sleep.

I think I fell asleep after about half an hour or so. I woke up near one. About half an hour ago, in fact. This is totally going to destroy my natural rhythm. Something, which is very, very bad, in this period.

Oh well. At least I've got a weekend to try to fix my cycle.

But still, I can't figure out why it happened. I'd made it a point to stay away from caffeine for some time now, so that I could avoid any incidents like the one described above. It's not fun, to lie in bed for six hours, feeling restless and uncomfortable.

It's not fair, either. So many other people get to go to sleep, and fall asleep, when they want to. Me? I even plan for incidents. I always keep some biscuits or something in my room, just in case I can't sleep and get really hungry.

Other times, I take one of my allergy pills. They have a depressant effect, which makes me feel sleepy. Sometimes I feel it's like drug abuse. Maybe it is. But sometimes it's that difficult for me to get to sleep. That I need to resort to little chemical substances. Plus, there's a hangover when I wake up the next day. It takes quite a while for its effects to completely wear off, and since I usually take the pill when I realise I can't sleep, it extends all the way into the morning. Which, makes me unable to do work, or even play a game without dying four times to the easiest enemy.

Ah. Sorry for the depressing post, everyone. I just needed to.

And something for Heroes fans...



-Joe

SHIT. Sorry for being crude, but DAMNIT.

Today's Geography paper was one big-ass killer. I mean, really, really bad.

"You may begin." Okay, start the timer on the watch. I love that watch. It's survived being battered around in a too-full pencil case for 4 years.

So, there I was. Suddenly, my brain just blanked. I was going "wait, what?", and after maybe four seconds... "Oh right! Name!" Okay, got off to a shaky start, but never mind. Happened plenty of time before. So I scrawl my name on the paper, realising that my the muscles in my hand were really tense for some reason. Gotta write quickly. Speed is essential.

And so after taking in the whole "Go go gadget, speed plasmid!" thing, I flip open the question paper and decide "Hell, I'm not going to plough the map right now. Might as well go straight to the essays." So I did. And there we go. Race against time, frantically scribbling away. All the while, I'm hoping that my handwriting is legible. It had better be. Or you can just assume that I took a bath with a toaster when I go missing next February.

So scribble scribble scribble WAIT WHAT? What do you mean eight marks? I can't write an eight mark essay with like, 3 points! That's impossible! NoooooOOoooOoo /Star Wars cameo.

And this is just getting rather dry. I'd really rather write about how I hate certain types of people.





Bioshock!!! Must buy.

-Joe

Okay, I know, second time today, but I was browsing through some Harry Potter fansite and I came across an arithmancy calculator. It was a method devised by ancient Greeks as a form of fortune telling. Using numbers.

So anyway umm... Here's how you calculate.

First, write out your full name, then assign numbers to each letter as shown:

1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9
A	B	C	D	E	F	G	H	I
J	K	L	M	N	O	P	Q	R
S	T	U	V	W	X	Y	Z

So if your name is Bob, your numbers are 2+6+2.

So, add them up.

You get 10.

Then you add the digits until you have a one-digit number left. In this case, 1+0=1, so there we are. This is your Character Number.

You can find your Heart number by doing the same for all the vowels in your name, and your Social number for all the consonants.

There's a calculator link on that page but I couldn't figure out how to stick it here. So go look for it yourself. Just ctrl+f "calculator" and click on the link. http://www.beyondhogwarts.com/harry-potter/articles/an-introduction-to-arithmancy.html

And there's a thingy about how to read your numbers, too.

Arithmancy Personality Numbers

1 - This is the number of the individual, the solitary unit. Ones are independent, focused, and determined. They set a goal and stick to it. They are leaders and inventors. Ones find it difficult to work with others and don't like to take orders. They can be self-centered, egotistical, and domineering. They are often loners.

2 - Two represents interaction, two-way communication, cooperation, and balance. Twos are imaginative, creative, and sweet natured. Peace, harmony, commitment, loyalty, and fairness are characteristic. But two also introduces the idea of conflict, opposing forces, and the contrasting sides of things: night and day, good and evil. Twos can be withdrawn, moody, self-conscious and indecisive.

3 - Three represents the idea of completeness or wholeness, as in the threesomes past-present-future and mind-body-spirit. Three indicates talent, energy, an artistic nature, humor, and social ease. Threes are often lucky, easygoing, and highly successful, but they can also be unfocused, easily offended, and superficial.

4 - Like a table that rests solidly on four legs, four indicates stability and firmness. Fours enjoy hard work. They are practical, reliable and down to earth; they prefer logic and reason to flights of fancy. They are good at organization and getting things done. Like the cycle of the four seasons, they are also predictable. They can be stubborn, suspicious, overly practical and prone to angry outbursts. The conflicts possible in "two" are doubled in four.

5 - Five is the number of instability and imbalance, indicating change and uncertainty. Fives are drawn to many things at once but commit to none. They are adventurous, energetic and willing to take risks. They enjoy travel and meeting new people but may not stay in one place very long. Fives can be conceited, irresponsible, quick-tempered and impatient.

6 - Six represents harmony, friendship, and family life. Sixes are loyal, reliable, and loving. They adapt easily. They do well in teaching and the arts, but are often unsuccessful in business. They are sometimes prone to gossip and complacency.

7 - Perceptive, understanding, and bright, sevens enjoy hard work and challenges. They are often serious, scholarly, and interested in all things mysterious. Originality and imagination are more important than money and material possessions. Sevens can also be pessimistic, sarcastic, and insecure.

8 - Eight indicates the possibility of great success in business, finance, and politics. Eights are practical, ambitious, committed, and hard working. They can also be jealous, greedy, domineering, and power-hungry. Eight is said to be the most unpredictable of numbers and can indicate the pinnacle of success or the depths of failure; the potential to go either way is present from the beginning.

9 - Represents completion and achievement to the fullest degree (as it is the complete number, three, expressed three times). Nines dedicate themselves to service, often as teachers, scientists, and humanitarians. Strongly determined, they work tirelessly and are an inspiration to others. However, they can also be arrogant and conceited when things don't go their way.

Right. My numbers are:

Character:	9
Heart:	1
Social:	8

That means that I am a well rounded person, who is independent in his emotions, and am "Jealous, greedy, domineering, and power hungry" in the social sector. Now who would have seen that coming?Quote from the source!

Apparently, 9 is the best number to have, as it indicates being well-adjusted and... A man for others. Heh.


But look, something so awesome, that some of you are going to have to give yourselves amnesia after you see it...

*Drumroll*...



Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha aaah...

Now, in an I-told-you-so voice... I can't stop giggling. Heh.

Well that's it for today. And there is no such thing as a dibasic acid! It's polyprotic! Realise that "dibasic" has "base" in it? Which is very, not acidic?

-Joe

We've had our first paper, and now I'm preparing to sit for the second. By "preparing" I mean, posting on the internet.

Looky here. I found a nice video that'll help us all out when the time comes:


VideoJug: How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

So, remember the elevators, and always kill the people that you know are going to double-cross you.

Just a moment ago, I became rather ticked off at certain people in my home, about a certain issue that I'm actually very sensitive about. Privacy. By that, I mean respecting personal space. It's not nice when people walk into the bathroom whilst you are showering, or later barge into your bedroom when you're still putting on your clothes. It's also not nice to walk into people's rooms for no good reason, because all you're doing is bothering them. Also, the point of knocking and saying "can I come in?" is so that you can find out if the person inside will permit you. "No." Does not mean "yes". "Yes" means "yes". Idiots. I mean, do they not realise that the person inside may be doing something that wouldn't be very nice to look at? Now, I'm not going to go into detail with that, but if anyone's had the misfortune of experiencing such a situation, I hope you can afford a nice house.

I don't get it with my family. People just don't give a shit about my privacy. Probably because they don't give a shit about theirs' either. But that's not fair now, is it? For one, I don't invade your privacy on purpose. If I know there's someone in the bathroom, I don't go in. Believe me, the people in my immediate family have a bad habit of doing that. So even though I don't trespass, I get trespassed upon. Where is the justice?

Oh yeah, and the thing where the act all dignified about themselves when they do it... annoys me. Sheesh. And did I mention how there's a lock on my door, but I never use it? Whenever I do use it, and one of them tries to invade my personal space, they go "what are you trying to hide?" I mean seriously, is the whole concept of respecting other people's privacy that hard to understand?

Oh well. It's Chemistry tomorrow, so I think everyone will have taken their first paper by then. Remember guys, it's not difficult.




What has science done indeed.

-Joe

Whoohoo. It's Additional Mathematics tomorrow, and for some reason I'm not even worried in the slightest. It's like, "uh, okay. Right." instead of the "Holy crap A math, gotta go do some papers..." that I envisioned.

So anyway, I came across someone's website. It's a dude who invents stuff and plays with them. Some of the contraptions actually do look quite cool, like this one.

The Light Sharpener←Clicky

If you don't want to look at the construction process just skip to about page 15 or so. This is something I wouldn't mind giving a try.

I got my hair cut today. Rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant blah blah blah blah blah blah.

You know, I think there's a huge conspiracy behind this. Think, is there any practical reason for having your hair cut? Yeah, probably, but they're not good enough to convince me that haircuts are necessary. Isn't the main reason they want us to keep our hair short for "uniformity"? Now, remember the last time you were in school? At which moment did you see people with "uniform" hairstyles? That's right, there weren't any. And why? No matter how much you force people to abide by certain regulations, they will still be different. And the fact that we are not clones of one another probably accounts for that. So what's the point?

It's probably about money.

Warning: Extremely far-fetched theory ahead.

How much does it cost for you to have your hair chopped off? Eight dollars? Maybe up to fifteen, if you go to a professional. And how many male students are there in this country? I don't actually know, but it's a whole bunch. My point is, cutting off people's hair is extremely profitable. In enforcing the rule in schools, barbers and hairstylists are provided with a constant source of income. They will never go out of business. So what I think(or not) is that there's a kind of deal between the industry and schools. For every person who wastes his money on an unnecessary haircut, the Ministry of Education probably earns a fair fraction.

I mean, what other reason could there be? There is no relationship between hair length/style/shape/magnitude and cognitive ability. What hair length/style/shape/magnitude has a relationship with, is fashion sense. Which, of course, doesn't apply in examinations. Sheesh.

I know I'm crazy. But they're watching us... when you go to school, they're there. When you do your homework, they're there. When you take a shower, they're there. When you're doing something kinky in the shower, they're still there.

Yeah, and since it's A Math tomorrow...


If you get stuck, and can't do it, just skip it. Don't get frustrated, don't waste your time.

Alright has everyone checked they're inventories already? Remember, you need your Entry Proof/Timetable. Additional Mathematics begins are 2.30pm, and you must therefore report by 2.00pm. Good luck and Godspeed to everyone.

-Joe

This post is to a friend, Lien Jia Hao. He is a great friend to have, he never feels sad, he is always optimistic and he loves (anime) to read books(*comics).

I have known him for four years. During this four years, he has acquired many distinct,unique and exquisite nicknames. I dare not say here=X Most of them are interesting, like this one; Beggar. This nickname was bestowed to him as he and a group of classmate were playing monopoly, and he was losing, so they were 'kind' to pass him some paper notes. There after, they gave him the name of beggar. If I'm not wrong, he won that monopoly round. However, he doesn't mind the name calling, he knows most of us are just joking around with him. Oh, I almost forgot about this crucial part! He was given that nickname also because he often borrows money from Denis(another classmate). As for the money he borrows, yea..... I think he does return it to Denis. Yup, Denis is Jia Hao personal bank as he says/ good friend.

If I were to list his good qualities: He is a great source to go to for upcoming animes and online games, he is fun to talk to. Whenever I'm bored and want to watch an anime, there is one person I'll look for, thats him- Lien Jia Hao. Recently he introduced some animes to me recently: Shoelaces, etc.

As for online games, he likes to play those with 2D graphic. I think most of us need not think too hard to guess which is his favourite game (Maple Story)! He loves to play maple story, he plays the Ice Mage, currently lvl 100+. Here, I wish him success in his endeavor towards the third job.

Like the chair video I posted recently, as I was surfing YouTube as usual, I found this anime. It triggered my mind about Jia Hao, and I couldn't stop thinking about writing about him. Finally, I found the right anime to attach to his specially dedicated post to Jia Hao. Its going to be hard to have no Jia Hao next year in my life, lols.

Here's the anime, I think Jia Hao will love it.
Maple Story Anime


Good luck to Jia Hao for his upcoming O'levels.

-Shaun

So I've realised that a lot of my posts begin with "so". I've really got to stop doing that.

Anyway... I feel like I didn't do it properly yesterday. I got too caught up with my own troubles. So here goes...

Now, I say goodbye to our 4E1 Classroom. The place in which we spent 2 years together, the place which we came to call ours. We may have used other rooms, but mathematics was the only classroom that I liked much. Walking in every day to see it, it was amazing, really. Through the classroom door, on my left, a picture with that guy pointing his finger, telling us that math wants us. More often than not, I'd see Mr. Low helping out with his death questions.

...The first time I stepped into that classroom... I was almost late. I came in with Jia Hao. There were few people whom I knew then... Shaun... Daron... Rainald... just to name a few... Leonard was still a total stranger, as were many others...

...And we were introduced to Aloysious Low, and at that time, never would I have guessed that I'd miss him... The pride of having been promoted to 3E1 still glowing in me, I tried my best to live up to it... I will miss his unique sense of humour, his unmistakable style, and his proficiency at his job...

...And in Biology... I took a place next to Leonard, whom I would soon find to be an excellent companion... Somehow... It's difficult to remember the times when we were still trying to remember each other's names... But everything after that was just a bliss... Every lesson we sat for together was fun. We could see innuendo in anything, and make the wildest theories... like the relation between incest and intelligence(funny story actually, may write about it in future)... I will miss having lessons with you, Leonard, and I regret that I still don't know your phone number by heart...

...And in Geography, my companion came to be Daniel... I already knew him, of course, from our escapades of the previous year. But not well. Our time together let me know what an empowered worker you are, and it would be a mistake not to mention how dependent I was on you... I should probably have paid more attention in class, but I don't regret having to rely on you... And hamster farms... I will miss having lessons with you, Daniel, for there could hardly be a better balance of fun and work elsewhere in the world...

...And Shaun... Bandmates no more. Partners, but not in school now. I know I have taken your presence for granted... but I'll just let you know... that even now, even if we still had lessons, I would still want you there in maths and physics... It's difficult to say this... but I think it would have been harder to say in person. Whatever it is... I will miss the periods where we could discuss our plans to get rich, to get famous, to become masters. I will miss when I could always count on a friendly face next to me, day, after day, after day...

... I will miss Jeremy and Murphy... for their example of friendship and company... The days we stayed back in school, or hung out at wherever... Jeremy, you were a good friend, and I am truly grateful that we were reunited in this class, after we went our separate ways at thirteen and a half... I could always count on you to understand... but I wish I understood you sooner... I will miss spending afternoons after school with you... certainly...

... And the rest of you... are all difficult people to come by. It is rare that such a group of people can come together, just by chance. Well, maybe not just by chance, but it's still amazing. I wasn't part of most of your activities, but I admired the kind of spirit and friendship each of you had for each other. In these years... I have grown accustomed to the jokes, the laughs, and the voices of you. I will miss this class.

3/4E1. The first class I ever liked. My primary school life was full of idiots. My lower secondary life was plagued by them. Turning fifteen was like going to heaven. Leaving sixteen is like jumping into a black hole. You don't know what's on the other side.

Mr. Low was right. Secondary school is the best part of your life. I don't know if I can move on, knowing what a great time I spent here.

And let's not forget the teachers... who will no longer be there to instruct...

...Mrs. Anne Quek, for her methods of making us remember... and for helping me realise my liking for Chemistry...

...Mr. Lim Kim Huat... for letting us know what we were up against... and letting us hold lengthy discussions on why we should legalise public executions...

...Mr. Edwin Lee... For making physics lessons fun... and not one other teacher has shared so much about his life than him...

...Mrs Lee Poh Lin... for I'm not sure what exactly, but I'll miss her anyway...

And so it has come to pass. Detachment has occurred.

Here, I have a quote...

"I always knew that looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never expected that looking back on the laughs would make me cry."

-Unknown

Not the pokemon. Heh.

It's not fair, but it has to happen. People come together, and they also part. It is an inevitability that for months I was afraid to accept. I still am. But it's coming ever closer, like a great locomotive hurtling towards us from miles away. I hope there will be a time to say our proper goodbyes at the graduation ceremony.

Adiós, my friends, it's only the beginning of a massive journey.

Or you may die early and be spared the trouble.




Alright. I think I understand why people swim with electric toasters now.

-Joe

So it was probably the last time we would ever be in that classroom, having a lesson again. Alright. I'm sad. That was a great classroom, if you don't count how there were always sweet wrappers around my desk every time some other idiot class used it. The last words I said in that room were "Oh, you mean sodium is only displaced if you're using a mercury cathode? Right." Looking back, there could have been a lot of better things to say.

And so we've all basically said goodbye to the school. From now on, the school is only an examination hall. It is no longer ours. We are candidates for a government exam. Three short weeks later, not even that. Oh well. I've actually been thinking about it for quite a while, so it doesn't feel so bad. Guess I kinda saw it coming. Or maybe it's just because I know it's not goodbye yet. We still have to plough through three weeks. We're still a class. And then there's also our graduation ceremony. Funny, you know, since "graduation" is derived from "gradual", but I see nothing gradual here. It's a huge leap, seeing as that moving to a new school is never, for lack of a better word, gradual.

And anyway, I've just realised that I might as well forget about online gaming after the O's. Thanks to my modem, which frankly, sucks. My download rate fluctuates, some days really fast, others not so. I cannot have this kind of instability. That box is a scam. My old Linksys worked way better. Mio sucks, period. I'd link the thread on Stomp, but it's too full of idiot-speak for me to agree with. I mean seriously, we know that there are a lot of loud, dumb people on the internet, but you don't have to try to be the best. What scares me is that most of them aren't trying. Stop saying "change to starhub", because it's not a feasable option. Idiots. Singapore is full of them. But my point is, Mio sucks, and if you do so much as use Youtube regularly, consider a different service.

But then, whatever. I'm going to buy a new game. Offline. Online communities are total crap anyway. The only way to stay sane in an online game is to avoid interaction at all costs, thus losing the whole "online" part of it. Sure, there are some good people, but that's like saying "when you fall into a snake pit, some won't bite you." Meaning, of course, that the rest will. Faith in humanity at risk. Gah. They can all go squabble and fight amongst themselves as much as they like, but I'm leaving those hellholes behind. I'll be entertained alone, thank you, by genetically engineered lunatics, a shotgun, and plenty of water.

I just don't have the heart to stay on topic right now. I mean, one specific topic. "I hate idiots" is too general. And every time I get on the subject I can't resist listing all their different breeds.

Oh, and I have a theory. I think I know why the world seems to be getting dumber, and more asshattish.

It's got to do with natural selection. We've all learned that in a developed country, work oriented people marry later, and have less children. Now, I'm going to make the assumption that all work oriented people have 3 digit IQs. All non-work oriented people have less. So here's how it goes:

Intelligent people are more ambitious, focusing on their goals in life, be it getting rich, starting a company, or designing something big. Intelligent people know what their strengths are, and work on them. There are 9 types of intelligence, but I won't bother listing them. These intelligent people put work first, procreation second. Thus, they marry later and have fewer kids. Older genetic material leads to poorer development. Basically, their kids aren't as fit as you'd like them to be. Then the work-oriented ones teach their children by example. Their kids become work-oriented too, and the cycle continues. In this way, the number of work oriented people diminishes over time, and even those from non-work oriented families that have a change of heart can't make up for the falling numbers.

But that's not all. Those with less real-world talent and self control(the idiots) are have less control over their natural instincts. So they go make babies. Idiot parents produce idiot babies. The cycle continues, and soon idiots outnumber non-idiots.

The people who think they're really awesome, but are actually making themselves look stupid, are the idiots. Now, just try and recall your most recent uncontrolled social gathering. Meaning that anyone could be there. Now, how many people annoyed you?

And there will come a time when people with any shred of logic left will refuse to procreate, for they do not want this mistake of a species to degrade itself any further. With that, I leave you with a picture to emphasise my point.



-Joe

Alright. I've got news. No more am I using a crappy computer... and I finally have PICTURES again! Whoohoo! Oooh yeah. Turns out that the problem was due to the RAM cards not being fit in properly. If I had known, I wouldn't have had to wait this long. But oh well. At least I know what to do the next time the problem occurs. In view of the exams, I'll explain what happened.

The processor inside your computer generates a lot of heat. This heat, naturally, propogates around the inside of your CPU, or Central Processing Unit. That is why you have cooling fans, to remove excess heat. However, there is a slight flaw in the design of your computer. Most computer units are manufactured and tested in China, likely due to the inexpensive labour one can find there. China has a low average temperature, and the efficiency of the cooling fans is made for it. When shipped over to Singapore, however, it undoubtedly becomes uncalibrated. Because of this, the fans are unable to remove heat as efficiently as necessary. This leads to the uneven expansion and contraction of parts inside your computer. Over time, this may result in the moving of parts(in this case, the RAM cards), causing poor contacts and the rest of the problems that follow.

Alright, that was about as professional as I could get right there. I know, not up to my usual standard, but I didn't have enough information.

You know, the library is a great place to get information. Note, this is a superbly clichéd sentence. Please do not use it unless you have to. Try for a more original way of saying it. No examples for you, because all who have power are afraid of losing it... Ahem. I was saying, the library. The many insights and discoveries it brings. Among them, extra knowledge on the birth of the universe. I chanced upon a tiny little book that would have been a children's story if it weren't for that magnetic title, "The Big Bang". Titles like that draw me like kindergartens draw paedophiles. Anyway, I learnt that the term "Big Bang" was actually coined by some dude trying to make fun of the theory, but the original supporters really liked it. After all, it did accurately describe the scenario. I also learnt how astronomers judge cosmic distances. It's really a lot to take in, especially from a book that looked like that. Other books in the series include "Evolution" and "Genetics". Basically, the other two words that I really like.

But something else I learnt at the library... was how inconsiderate people can be. I arrived at maybe 2 in the afternoon. And woah, there were maybe 7 unoccupied tables!

With stuff on them. No people.

I mean, what the hell? Do you really think, that you can go for your lunch break, and leave your crap all over the tables, and that no one is going to do anything about it? As I walked past yet more personel-less platforms, I had a strong desire to steal their chairs and hide them in the elevator. Fortunately, I'm not that demented. But seriously, it is unfair, and extremely inconsiderate to leave your stuff there while you go for your lunch. I know you want to keep your space, but realise this: It's a public library. You can't just reserve a table by leaving your stuff there. The worst part is, I can't do squat about it. If I move their crap, I'm handling other people's property. That could lead to legal issues, or just a confrontation with some *idiots. Even though they have no right to leave their stuff on the table, I have no right to tell them to clear off, either. And they're the ones who are being assholes. Where is the justice? There is no justice, I tell you. It's exactly like those idiots in online games who tell you to get off the map with the excuse of "It's mine, I was here like half an hour ago." And where does this leave me? "Argue with an idiot, and he'll bring you down with experience." All I can do is mutter swear words under my breath and sit on the floor.

Life is exceedingly awesome.

*According to Wikipedia, "idiot", is the scientific term for someone who has the severest form of mental retardation, with "imbecile" coming in next, and "moron" for those less afflicted. Which is convenient, because I've gotten to calling people idiots pretty frequently.

Whoop tee doo.

-Joe


**This post was typed in advance, on 15 October 2007, as the modem decided to kill itself when my computer was finally fixed. I am so lucky.

I came across this chair on youtube:



Enjoy~
-Shaun

Sorry about that. I can't stand it when people sit behind me and watch me type. I really hate it. Especially since this person I'm referring to is not very open to the idea of posting on the internet. Primitive moron.

So anyway, as I was trying to say that I watched my first NC-16 movie in a theatre last Friday. Resident Evil: Extinction wasn't a bad movie. The action was fine, the zombies were creepy enough. Even White Queen, that AI for the co-operation was done really well. It amazes me to think that they got a little girl like that to play the part so nicely. Creepily awesome.

*Oh wait. I just searched her up and found that she's actually acted in Lost. How could I not have seen her...

In the light of the coming examinations, I want to be of some help to our readers. So here, I'm going to give all of you some tips to bring us through this time of trial.

For English:

It is too late.I've been telling you guys for years. Read more. But if you haven't, you don't do it now. There's no time for you to pull Lord of the Rings off your coffin and start ploughing through it. You can only benefit from reading, if you do it for pleasure. And you can only think that the previous sentence is funny if you've been corrupted. Like me. So, instead of reading novels, I seriously suggest that you go technical.

Common spelling mistakes.
Alright. We often get confused with different spellings(because the Americans wanted to be different), and sometimes we just get the word plain wrong. I'm going to list out a few commonly mispelled words for us to take note of.

Definitely.
Yes, it's DEFINITELY, not DEFINATELY. Same as "infinitely." Always try to pronounce the words you write, because most words are pronounced the way you spell them.

Available.
It's A-VAIL-ABLE. Not A-VAIL-IABLE. Many people spell it AVAILIABLE. Kids, there is no "liable" in the word.

Embarrassment.
Two R's, two S's. That is all.

Masturbation.
Not that it's likely that you'll use this word, but please note, that it's not MASTERBATION. And on no accounts should you write stuff like "whack off".

A lot.
There is no such word as "alot".

TV.
It's not "TV". You have to write "television". Don't be lazy. Also under this category, are "specs", "comps", "tards", and "orly". If you want, write "Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation" instead of laser.

Misspelled.
Not Mispelled. There are 2 S's.

Apparition.
Not APPA-RATION. I used to make this mistake a lot.

Tomorrow.
One M, then two R's.

Drunkenness.
Two N's at the back. Remember.

Vacuum.
One C, two U's. No N's. So when you write about your brains being sucked out when you accidentally jumped out the airlock...

Sergeant.
That's how you spell the rank. If you can't spell it, please stay away from military-talk.

Privilege.
Another word horribly mutilated over time. PRI-VI-LEGE. Not PRI-VE-LAGE.

Medieval
I spelt it right, and yet they circled it like kids with Obsessive Circle-things Disorder. ME-DIE-VAL.

Possession
4 S's altogether.

Pronunciation.
That's PRONUNCIATION.

Questionnaire
Like, question+naire. Not question+aire.



Okay, now just for a few tips for composition making...

1) Don't use cliches. They are a pain to read. I can't stand them, so you wouldn't think that those Cambridge people could, either. If you know an expression really well, chances are, that everyone else does too.

2) Don't say "don't". Always say "Do not". Unless you're detailing dialogue, you are not allowed to use contractions.

3) Never, ever start a sentence with "and", unless it's a piece of speech where the person is adding on to something previously said. Like,

A: We're going to die!
B: And I'm still hungry.

4) Please, under all circumstances, do not write like you're typing in a blog. This is conversational, and therefore I'm allowed to use contractions and intentionally misspelled words.

5) Sound professional. When writing a discussive, imagine that you are Albert Einstein delivering a speech on the theory of Relativity. If you can't, then well... Good luck.

6) Stay away from the paranormal. That includes ghosts, angels, religion, and Jedi. No matter how strongly you believe in them, do not write about them. Unless the topic clearly states something like "A Jedi's main advantage in battle is his lightsaber. Discuss."

7) Check your work. Or don't. I still want to top that chart, you know.

8) Even if you don't check your work, please make sure that your sentences are fairly coherent. I have read through many of your essays, and almost every one of them has a sentence or two that makes as much sense as Optimus Prime having prostate cancer.

9) Check for redundant words. Redundancy comes in forms such as "a solution to solve". Gah.

10) Pay me $10 an hour to coach you.



For the Sciences:


There's no time for you to memorise every single piece of information. Instead, get the general idea, and use your common sense. Always tell yourself, Science is not difficult.

1) Write more than what is asked for.
Many questions will ask for something, but award more marks than it should. This is most common for Biology. When a question asks "How does homeostasis work?", they probably also want you to define homeostasis. Basically, definitions are always important.

2) Use your imagination.
They're always asking for application, so apply. When they tell you that there's nuclear explosion far away, and ask you to describe the processes going on in the eye, try to imagine a nuclear fallout. Far away. That means you need to describe accomodation. Nuclear fallout. It's probably really bright, so write about that too.

3) Think simply.
More than once have I lost marks in Physics because I considered too many factors. This is O' Level Science, an insult to our intelligences, really. They expect you to know only what is taught, and answer accordingly. When a real life example is given, always assume that we live in a perfect world, where energy is transferred perfectly, and that things can magically appear out of nowhere to create a scenario.

4) Don't rush.
I once mistook a sperm cell for a root hair cell because I was trying to complete a paper in 10 minutes. I will never, ever do that again.


Some general guidelines:

1) One mark usually means one sub-process. If you mention that a certain group of muscles is contracting, you get one mark.

2) Biology is marked differently from the other two. When answering a Chemistry or Physics question, always read your answer, and see if you show understanding of the required concepts.

3) When you get stuck, try to make up points that sort of make sense. If you forget a word, look for a synonym. Whatever it is, never leave blanks. Make up some bullshit and dump in on the paper.

4) Whatever our teachers say, grammar is important. Yes, grammar is important in science. While you are allowed more licence here, always remember that you're being graded on how well you bring a scientific concept across. Engrish has no use other than making the Cambridge dudes cry for laughter.


And some general Do's and Don'ts before an exam.

Don't pull an all-nighter.
You heard me. Don't. It's not going to help. Sleep, is absolutely necessary. You need it for your cognitive functions. I know a lot of you think that the amount of study you can put in if you sacrifice a few hours can help you, but seriously, it's not good for you. Sure, you may be able to cram in a few more facts, review a couple more problems, but when the exam comes, you'll need your brain in tip-top condition. So in short, SLEEP.

Eat a full breakfast.

Remember biology? Your brain uses electrical impulses to work, so make sure you consume sufficient carbohydrates before a test.

Stay away from caffeine.

Makes you unable to sleep, causing you to lose precious rest, and impairing your ability in the examination.

Check Inventory:

1) At least 2 writing pens. If you're hating your current pens right now, please GO BUY NEW ONES. And then get used to them.

2) The usual stuff. Pencil, ammo, eraser, ruler. The necessary for diagrams and graphs.

3) Timepiece. To keep track of your progress during the paper.

4) Personal hygiene products. Tissue paper, hangman's noose. Always be prepared.

5) Temperature regulator. It's gonna be cold.

And your lucky charm, if you want. Oh, but you can't say that the formula sheet is your lucky charm.


During the exam:

Stay hydrated. Whether that Barton guy's words were true or not, keep sipping. It stops you from having that biting sensation in your throat, keeping you comfortable.

Don't turn around and grin at me retardedly. I don't want to be accused of cheating because of anyone else.

If you need to take a whiz, ask to go as soon as you feel it coming. It's better than sitting there for half an hour squashing your legs together.

After collection, please, refrain from talking. If anyone decides to ignore this rule, they'd better have anti-ninja defences around their homes.


So that's about it for today. The next time I post may only be when I get my computer back. See ya'll.

-Joe

I've got good news, everyone! Gasp, choke, seizure! My computer is scheduled to be serviced the coming Monday, the 15th. Woot. So once it's back(which, sadly, would be sometime in the middle of my O's), I'll be able to write every time I feel that there's something deeply wrong with humanity. Which, is quite often.

And... I... can't stay. Eyes are watching me. It's

Aha. I've found it. A text file that I thought I'd lost a long time ago.

How many message board posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1,240

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed;

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently;

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs;

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs;

53 to flame the spell checkers;

41 to correct spelling/grammar of the flames;

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb";

6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive;

156 to write to the site administrator about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this board;

109 to post that this board is not about light bulbs and to please take this thread to the litebulb board;

203 to demand that cross posting to grammar-l, spelling-l and illuminati-l about changing light bulbs be stopped;

111 to defend the posting to this board saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this board;

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty;

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs;

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and the post the corrected URL's;

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this board which makes light bulbs relevant to this board;

33 to link all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers and then add "Me too";

12 to post to the board that they are logging off because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy;

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three";

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ;

44 to ask what is "FAQ";

5 to BUMP up the post because we all still change lightbulbs;

17 to say "Didn't we already go through this on Usenet?"

22 to ask "What's Usenet?"

1 to count all the messages to make sure there are 1,240 members involved


Yeah and umm... What's Usenet?

-Joe

So I couldn't stand using IE7 anymore, and downloaded Opera. It's actually not bad, but it takes getting used to. Instead of Firefox's tab-openers at the top of the browser, you have this Speed Dial page every time you open a new window, so you can just click on a huge, obvious icon to visit your saved pages. It's quite cool. I can't really compare anything about caching speed, because this computer is different from mine. When I do  get my own computer up and running(which, would be in quite a while's time), I may just use Opera instead of Firefox.

What I hate about not having ready access to a computer, is that I can't write about stuff that comes to me when I want to. By the time I get to the PC, I've lost every emotion that I felt at the time. I feel disabled, and this grimy piece of junk is my crutch. I feel as helpless as that guy who was shut in the sarcophagus in The Mummy. I can't even transfer my music back to my mp3 player. This computer doesn't have an SD card slot. Primitive.

And that brings me to my next topic. My sudden wanting to use my mp3 player again. About a month ago, I finally got a cellphone that could store and play music. Whoopee! I'd been wanting it for quite a while. It worked fine for me, it had a nice design, uniquely unlike anything anyone else had. Now I could make calls, and listen to music, for effectively less weight in my pocket! I actually measured, and I found that I dropped about 30% of the original mass I carried. Cool, eh?

Yeah, for a while, but then last week I was studying in the quiet of my home. My computer was down, so I got out my celly for some music. Gosh. Now that there were virtually no ambient noises, the flaws in my plan became so much more profound. From the beginning, I noticed a lot more background static from the phone than an ordinary player. I chose to ignore this. But now, it was unbearable. Even worse was the way the high notes were mutilated. Metallic whinings behind flute parts, and a horrible burst of static for every strong brass. I can never listen to jazz from that thing, ever again. So I dug up my old mp3 player, but then realising that it didn't have many of the more recent songs I umm, obtained. Ugh. So now I had a choice: A library with too few songs, or a static-ridden, music mutilating one. And it's all because my computer isn't working.

>.< I just noticed that Opera is messing with the alignment of text as I type. It's annoying.

As I walk along the streets, I notice alot of people with earphones, or headphones on. It makes me wonder, what are they listening to? Then I notice that my own ears are plugged. So, is anyone else wondering what I'm listening to? Would they assume, that this tall youth with what looks like coloured hair, is listening to some mainstream crap? The same way that when I see other teenagers, I think that they're having their eardrums ripped by music that I cringe when I think about? Sorry, but that's just what it looks like. Too many people are convinced that what they listen to is music. It's indescribable. That is NOT music. Real Rock died out in the 80's. What you have now, goes by the principal of "the louder the better". Someone who listens to lots of songs, by all the most popular and recent singers and bands. He is not musically inclined. At all. Ask them why they like it, and they say "I like the beats." This, people, is NOT a love for music. You cannot say that you love music, until you experience what music actually should be. Where is the harmony? Can you discern the blend of 8 different instruments, playing simoultaneously? Can you listen to four complentary rythms and tunes, without concentrating on any one of them? If all you hear are the words, or the base, then you have not been enlightened. And you will probably take offence to these words, and remain ignorant of the true beauty of music for the rest of your life. So if you want to feel a little more sophisticated, please go for the Oldies, since then you'll be able to use the excuse "The lyrics have more meaning than modern songs." All the same, it's still an excuse to listen to a catchy tune with a fun beat. Never, ever come to me and say "I like listening to Avril's stuff because I like the lyrics." because I swear, I will develop telekinesis on the spot, and smash your head into pulp, like it should exist as.

Oh yeah, umm. I happened to go to 7-Eleven the other day and I saw a rather peculiar arrangement. There were these Winnie the Pooh stuffed toys hanging on a shelf. This shelf, happened to be the Family Planning section. Pooh should never, ever be that close to condoms, lube, and vibrators. It's just wrong. It's like, "if the contraceptives didn't work, here are some toys for your new kid!" It's just plain evil. And it's also wrong that I sniggered at that thought.

And as I'm not at my own computer...no picture. I'm sad.


Looking at life from another angle
-Joe

The temperature is rising, it will soon reach a critical point. At that point, all of us, secondary 4 students would be doing our 'o'level.

Two weeks more to go? Its getting really stressful for most of my classmates and me? "Ermmmm Yes!" Anyway 'o'level comes only once for most people, certainly I do (not) wish to do my best. So, during this extremely crucial phase which teachers had always said that miracles and devastation could either happen. Much awaits the time to tell. The only thing left for most student to say, "Lets try our best, hope for the best and wish for the best!" If all else fails to work; like prying really hard or spotting essay questions for humanities, lets just see it as history.

Interestingly too, the quaver~ seems to be having readers. Yeah!!!! Thanks for reading though.

ALL THE BEST TO ME AND MY CLASS.

Be as strong as a knot:
The knot we must be like.

-Shaun

Do we control our thoughts? Or do our thoughts control us?

My Answer:

We are our thoughts as if we do not think, we do not exist. Refer to "I think therefore I am". Since there is no differentiation between ourselves and our thoughts, the question above is invalid.


- GuoWei

Our friends read it, of course.

And here's somethin I found today...

Girlspeak To English DictionaryKenneth M. Gibson" kmgibson@flash.net --------- -------

She says: We need
English: I want

She says: It's your decision
English: The correct decision should be obvious by now

She says: Do what you want
English: You'll pay for this later

She says: We need to talk
English: I need to complain

She says: Sure...go ahead
English: I don't want you to.

She says: I'm not upset
English: Of course I'm upset, you moron.

She says: You're...so manly
English: You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

She says: You're certainly attentive tonight.
English: Is sex all you ever think about?

She says: I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
English: I have PMS.

She says: Be romantic, turn out the lights.
English: I have flabby thighs.

She says: This kitchen is so inconvenient.
English: I want a new house.

She says: I want new curtains
English: and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...
She says: Hang the picture there
English: No, I mean hang it there!

She says: I heard a noise
English: I noticed you were almost asleep.

She says: Do you love me?
English: I'm going to ask for something expensive.

She says: How much do you love me?
English: I did something today you're really not going to like...

She says: I'll be ready in a minute.
English: Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

She says: Is my butt fat?
English: Tell me I'm beautiful.

She says: You have to learn to communicate.
English: Just agree with me.

She says: Are you listening to me!?
English: [Too late, your dead.]

She says: Yes
English: No

She says: No
English: No

She says: Maybe
English: No

She says: I'm sorry.
English: You'll be sorry.

She says: Do you like this recipe?
English: It's easy to fix, so you'd better get get used to it.

She says: I'm not yelling!
English: Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. I


n answer to the question "What's wrong?"

She says: The same old thing.
English: Nothing.

She says: Nothing.
English: Everything.

She says: Everything.
English: My PMS is acting up.

She says: Nothing, really.
English: It's just that you're such a jerk.

She says: I don't want to talk about it.
English: Go away, I'm still building up evidence against you.

Heh. Stereotypes. While they may not necessarily hold for some... they all have some basis in fact. Without them, we would have one less thing to laugh about. *And my computer is still dead. My parents, rather, my Mom especially, seem to have this irresistable urge to be total jackasses when it comes to customer service. There's that inflated sense of security that they have when they are customers. Always trying to get bargains and threathening to complain to the "manager". When I ask them about this, they say, "The service guy was being an idiot." But when I listen in on how she talks to those poor souls, I want to say, "Stop being a bitch, and let him explain before you interrupt angrily."

Sheesh

Plus, it makes it really difficult for anything to be replaced or serviced in the house, because she keep demanding extra stuff for no pay. Which is why I'm still using a sticky keyboard. Compromise a little, and don't be an asshole to someone who you havn't met yet. Once you met them and confirmed their asshole status, go ahead.

-Joe

**EDIT: Damn spacings