I have no self control.
I hate group work now. No one else knows how to do anything.
My eyes are still tired, somehow.
Well, I've been practicing my trumpet for some time now. I don't know if I've made any good progress. I can certainly play more fluidly and with better sound than when I started out this year. I think my problem with not being able to come back into playing after breathing is going away. I don't lose my embrochure as easily now. I can probably attribute that to practice.
Still, I know that I'm not doing it right. For some reason, I just feel unwilling to put in extra air. I don't want to play loud. This is a problem. And it's a very annoying problem. There's just something about practicing at home that makes me feel restricted. It's because I know that my parents can hear me, my brother can hear me. If I play anything remotely familiar to my parents(my mom, specifically), she's bound to comment on it. I hate that. I'm being unreasonable, but it's just one of the things that really pisses me off. Because 1) I didn't even play it that well and 2) I don't want to talk about it. The thing with my brother, is that he's like... A professional violinist. Who doesn't really understand brass instruments.
Agh. Pointless. I need stop being like this. Why is it that I am so capable of showing off when I'm outside? And yet at home, all my showmanship just evaporates. It's obviously got nothing to do with the environment. It's the people. When I'm alone at home, I feel so free. I can put emotion and volume into my music, and then amuse myself at the thought of one of my neighbours yelling at me to shut up.
Sigh. Maybe I just feel inadequate. I feel that my trumpet playing skills are sub-par. Not worthy for my family to hear. I lack confidence in this area.
Also, I've been really wanting to get a euphonium lately. I mean, I was actually good at that. I think I was good at that. My seniors said so. The people in AJ said so. Supposedly, with more practice, I could get really good at that. But a euphonium is bloody expensive, especially since I won't settle for a baritone. They're just different. I have asked about getting one, but I got no definite answer.
I definitely want one, but I feel that it is sort of like taking a risk. In the time it takes for the euphonium to arrive, I may have improved so drastically on the trumpet that I wouldn't want to play the euphonium anymore. Either that, or I may get a euphonium and play it for years, and never get much better than I already was. Or, it may turn out to be a not-so-good investment, because I only play for myself and would never have any opportunity to actually perform.
Cakes.
Okay I'd start practicing now but my brother is already practicing. And as we all know, brass > strings in volume, so I'd better not. Musician's courtesy.
Heheh. Heh.
-Joe