I seem to have lost my need to write, to communicate with those beyond my immediate surroundings. I am writing now mainly because of the lengthy silence that has befallen this website. In the recent days, I simply have not chanced upon any blog-appropriate ideas or stories that I could share with you guys. Perhaps I have, but forgot them moments after.
I was almost ready to give in to despair when I came to the conclusion that there were a dozen or so unnamed people in my course who scored a better Grade Point Average than me for last semester's examinations. But then today I received new information, and realised that my earlier conclusion was based on insufficient evidence. As such, I revised my decision to become depressed and violent.
It's not exactly a long story, but it's a painful one. From my perspective, anyway. See, when Shaun told me that he wasn't in the top 15% of the cohort, I concluded that I would have been in the lower portion of the 15th percentile. His GPA was only 0.04 lower than mine. At the time, it appeared that I was one of the last people to get into this category. That was saddening. Then, I learned that he simply had not received the certificate yet, and it was not the case that he was ineligible for the award.
See, this is why I need psychic powers. Verbal communication is fuzzy and has the capacity for many errors.
Nevertheless, this episode has prompted me to do all in my power to prevent a failure such as this from happening in the future. The impact has been softened greatly by the correction of facts, but even so, there are more obstacles to overcome. Certain people.
I really do think that I have a superiority complex. I've always believed in greater people having bragging rights. I've also always hated it when other people had bragging rights. Whether or not they exercise this privilege, is irrelevant. You could say that I just hate to lose, in things that I feel are important.
Another thing. Things that I feel are important are usually the only things I am good at. I wonder whether I became good at them because I thought they were necessary, or that I came to understand their importance through sheer chance of being talented in those areas. Either way, the fact remains that if I am not good at something compared to the general population, then I am useless. I am not an all-rounder. I don't have very many talents to fall back on, should my current pursuits fail. It's like being an RPG character who has invested all his stat points into one aspect, leaving the others nearly useless at any level that counts.
So there, that's why I can't stand to lose. I don't have the luxury of saying "yeah well, I can do other things too." I need to work harder.
...
And so, Lando Calrissian wins the US presidential elections. I didn't follow the debates, the speeches, the rallies, or any of the elections. The only things I knew about Barack Obama was that people enjoyed likening him to Brock... You know, from Pokémon. Yeeaah.
In other news, JC students are breaking free from the entangling grasp of Project Work. This is good news, although it means I will also stop to whine about the discrepancy between polytechnic vacation time and JC vacation time.
/whine
Anyway, congratulations, guys. I don't know if I'd have been able to do PW without setting several buildings on fire.
-Joe