Because coins are made out of metal.
Ha. Ha ha. ha...
Yeah, but really. Why do you think so? I know, when we get into a particular routine, it just sticks. And the longer you do it, the more adhesive it gets. Such is especially true for my sleep cycle; I'm waking up at... Well, in the PM hours. And sleeping in the AM. Thanks to the holidays and the lack of obligations that come with them, I've been staying up late, watching episodes of Futurama, playing my games and trying to get faster on the cube. And then I go to bed and sleep till 12:30. And since I have um... 6 days before I go back to school, this is going to be a problem.
And my haircut. Oh man, I do not want to get a haircut. It took me three months to grow this out, and something tells me that each year, my hair gets thinner and thinner. Not for the first time, I'm questioning the logic of this rule. If you've been around me enough just skip to the next paragraph, since I'm just doing my usual "it makes no sense!" routine. It makes no sense! At all! I mean, come on. What's the point of making people like me chop their hair off every couple of months. I do not like my look in short hair, and after every haircut I spend the next three weeks checking the progress of my hair growth. By the time it's reached an acceptable length and texture, the school tells me to go cut it again. Well, that was my old school. I have no idea how the people from my new school are going to react. Perhaps they're more lenient, or maybe not. But the point is that the rule still exists over there. So, what's the point of the rule? Anyone care to tell me? Fringe can't touch eyebrows, sideburns can't pass the earhole, back above the collar. And let's not forget HAIR CAN'T TOUCH THE EARS. I mean, WHAT THE HELL? What is the freakin' point of that? In my attempt to reason with all things, the best explanation I can come up with is that a long time ago, it actually had a point, and the rule was continued, even after the "point" of it disappeared. Right now it's more like "We want all of you to look like inmates in a prison camp. Lol." Yay. Seriously, why not let us enjoy our hair while we still have it? We all know that by the time we're forty, most of us will be groaning every time we look at our hairlines. It doesn't make sense. It's a stupid rule. And so far no one's even managed to come up with a slightly logical argument against my point.
Oh great. I forgot what I actually wanted to say. So instead, I'll be giving everyone a few tips on how to cope with next year.
1) Improving your brainpower
Now, this is something that most of us would really want. We all want to do better at our schoolwork, courses, and whatever else we're planning on taking up. While there is no one method of boosting your psychic prowess, here are a few tactics I picked up from the Internet and library:
Relation
Whenever you're doing anything, relate it to numbers, science, stories. Whatever that's important for you. If you're out having lunch, grab the bill and add up the numbers mentally. If you're having a jog in the park, apply your knowledge of respiration on oxygen requirements. Maybe when you're having a conversation with someone, use a few quotes from your old literature textbook. Just things like that. If you can relate what you learn to what you actually see, it helps you remember stuff a lot better. When things are real, they matter.
Visual memory
We all wish we had eidetic memory, like Nikola Tesla, or Robert Langdon(he's not real, but yeah...). While we may never achieve such mental prowess as these people, it doesn't hurt to get closer to it. There are plenty of ways that supposedly improve your photographic memory. One of them is to simply practice. Open a drawer, stare at its contents for 30 seconds, then close the drawer. Take out a piece of paper, and write down the name of everything you remember seeing in it. Open the drawer again, and make a list of the things that you did not remember seeing. Repeat the process with various scenes. A shopping mall. A nice scenery. And if you're really enthusiastic about this, my desk. It's like... Wow. I really have to clear it before the new year.
Prime factors
This one is simple enough to understand, but not so simple to do. Whenever you're bored, look at a digital clock. Instead of just waiting for the minutes to tick by, challenge yourself. Every time the number changes, race to find all the prime factors of each number before the minute is up. If it's 3:30, you find the prime factors of 330... Yeah, just like that. I'm guessing most of us will get bored of doing this after the first 6 minutes and revert to our usual daydreaming.
But that isn't altogether bad, you know. Daydreaming actually does aid in creativity and the power of your imagination. While most of our daydreams consist of our fantasies and desires, there are also those that involve stories, plots, and adventures. Create a whole new world inside your head, pretend to be someone else. Someone powerful, someone beautiful, someone who can turn invisible and spy on people... Anything. Conjure up conversations, invent apocalyptic events and stop them in the spirit. The only drawbacks to this are that it takes up time you should be spending on your homework and can make you look like some kind of mentally challenged person, staring into space.
2)Energise yourself
Get enough sleep
This is especially important for keeping yourself going. Never for a moment think that you can go to bed at 3AM and wake up at 6. Sure, you can, but just... Don't. You'll wake up feeling really awful, find yourself titchy and fidgety. You'll spend the entire day zoned out. You'll still feel everything, see everything, but it'll all be wrong, unpleasant, and simply horrible. So yeah, please get the sleep you need. May be 7 hours, 9 hours, 12 hours(like me...) so unless you really have to, don't stay up on school nights.
I'm not exactly a physical person here so I can't recommend anything else.
3)Get a hobby
A real hobby. Playing video games doesn't count any more... It's more like some kind of addiction we have to feed. Try to take up something that doesn't involve pitting Solid Snake against Super Mario or your level 98 Paladin against the forces of hell. I personally enjoy sourcing for information and collecting movie themesongs. I'm still looking for the end credits of National Treasure. If you can't decide on anything, or know that you can't be bothered to go out of your way to pick up a hobby... Get a book. Or join a CCA that you like. All the matters is that it is something that you can do, have fun, and drop without withdrawal symptoms.
4)Don't do anything stupid
By that, I mean drugs, alcohol, watching all three Lord of the Rings movies plus the extras in one setting, running into a Star Trek convention and screaming “GET A LIFE, NERDS!”, doing religious propaganda, running with scissors, grab people's chests, eating snickers and having coke, saying “the AV guy is an idiot” while next to him, snapping your fingers to get your teacher's attention, mixing up “down the road not across the street”, jumping off an overhead bridge to see how far your brain flies when a bus hits you, doing kinky stuff in a public place, being a total asshole to your classmates, ignoring “Winners never quit, and quitters never win. But people who never win and never quit are idiots”, making promises involving loss of limbs/dignity, agreeing to be used as a demonstration dummy, getting married, having kids, having your kids having kids, having kids with your kid's kids, drugs, and alcohol.
I'm not sure how that one works but never mind.
Well, yeah. That's it for today. I'm going to install sonic emitters on my door to warn intruders. After which their very molecules will resonate with such a large amplitude that they themselves will be ripped to shreds.
-Joe